The Art of Listening: Training Leaders for Effective Mental Health Support

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Feeling overwhelmed by the complexities of supporting mental health in the workplace? You're not alone. Discover practical strategies in our latest article, " The Art of Listening: Training Leaders for Effective Mental Health Support," where we explore how to empower leaders to provide effective leader mental health support and create a more compassionate and productive environment. Ready to unlock the secrets to a mentally healthier workplace? Dive in and let's begin!

The Art of Listening: Training Leaders for Effective Mental Health Support

Why Effective Leader Support is Crucial for Employee Well-being

Effective leader mental health support is not merely a beneficial perk; it is a fundamental component of a healthy and productive work environment. Leaders are often the first point of contact for employees facing challenges, and their ability to recognize signs of distress and respond appropriately can significantly impact an individual's well-being. When leaders are equipped to offer support, it fosters a sense of psychological safety, making employees feel valued and understood. This, in turn, can reduce stress, improve morale, and prevent minor issues from escalating into crises.

Furthermore, organizations that prioritize training for effective leader mental health support demonstrate a genuine commitment to their people. This commitment is increasingly important as the lines between work and personal life blur, and employees face complex stressors. Studies consistently show that a supportive manager is a primary factor in employee retention and engagement. For example, research often indicates that employees with supportive managers are significantly less likely to report burnout and more likely to recommend their workplace to others. Investing in leadership training for mental health support yields tangible returns in human capital.

The Impact of Supportive Leadership on Mental Health in the Workplace

Supportive leadership has a profound and measurable impact on mental health outcomes within an organization. Leaders who practice active listening, show empathy, and are knowledgeable about available resources can help mitigate the negative effects of workplace stress, such as anxiety and depression. When employees feel they can approach their leader without fear of judgment, they are more likely to seek help earlier, whether through internal programs or external professional services. This proactive approach can prevent prolonged suffering and reduce the duration and severity of mental health challenges.

The positive effects extend beyond individual employees to the entire team and the organization's bottom line. A workplace where effective leader mental health support is the norm typically sees lower rates of absenteeism and presenteeism (being at work but unproductive due to health issues). While specific figures vary, some reports suggest that mental health conditions cost global economies billions annually in lost productivity.

Conversely, creating a supportive culture through trained leaders can lead to higher productivity, increased creativity, and better teamwork. For instance, a team led by a manager trained in mental health first aid and empathetic communication might navigate high-pressure projects with less interpersonal conflict and stress compared to a team without such support structures in place.

Identifying Mental Health Challenges in the Workplace: A Leader's Role

Recognizing Signs of Stress, Anxiety, and Burnout in Employees

Identifying mental health challenges is a critical, albeit sensitive, part of effective leader mental health support. Leaders are not expected to be clinicians, but they should be trained to recognize potential signs that an employee might be struggling. These signs can manifest differently in individuals but often include changes in behavior, mood, or performance. Common indicators might involve noticeable decreases in productivity or quality of work, increased irritability or withdrawal from colleagues, frequent or unexplained absences, changes in appearance or hygiene, or expressions of hopelessness or excessive worry.

It is important for leaders to observe patterns over time rather than making snap judgments based on isolated incidents. A single bad day is normal, but a persistent change in an employee's usual demeanor or work habits could signal an underlying issue. For example, an employee who was typically punctual and engaged might start arriving late, missing deadlines, and appearing disengaged during meetings.

Another might become unusually quiet or easily agitated. Training should help leaders understand that these are potential indicators requiring a supportive, non-judgmental conversation, not necessarily a disciplinary action, focusing on offering support and resources rather than diagnosing a condition.

Understanding the Stigma Surrounding Mental Health at Work

A significant barrier to employees seeking help is the pervasive stigma surrounding mental health in the workplace. Many individuals fear that disclosing a mental health challenge will lead to discrimination, negative impacts on their career progression, or being perceived as weak or incapable. This fear often results in employees suffering in silence, which can exacerbate their condition and lead to more severe consequences, including long-term absence or resignation. Effective leader mental health support must actively work to dismantle this stigma.

Leaders play a crucial role in shaping the workplace culture regarding mental health. By speaking openly about mental well-being (where appropriate and authentic), sharing personal stories (if comfortable), and treating mental health issues with the same seriousness and compassion as physical health issues, leaders can create an environment where employees feel safer to be vulnerable.

Training programs must address how leaders can model acceptance, challenge discriminatory language or attitudes among team members, and ensure that company policies genuinely support employees seeking help without penalty. For instance, a leader who transparently takes a mental health day or talks about the importance of managing stress signals to their team that it is acceptable and even encouraged to prioritize one's well-being.

Developing Essential Listening Skills for Leaders

Active Listening Techniques for Mental Health Conversations

Active listening is perhaps the most fundamental skill for effective leader mental health support. It goes far beyond simply hearing words; it involves fully concentrating on, understanding, responding to, and remembering what is being said. In the context of a sensitive conversation about mental well-being, active listening means giving the employee your undivided attention, minimizing distractions, and truly focusing on their message, both verbal and non-verbal. Techniques include maintaining eye contact (if culturally appropriate and comfortable), nodding to show understanding, and using encouraging sounds like "uh-huh" or "I see."

Beyond physical cues, active listening involves processing and reflecting on the information shared. This includes paraphrasing what you've heard to confirm understanding ("So, if I understand correctly, you're feeling overwhelmed by the project deadlines and that's impacting your sleep? "), asking open-ended questions to encourage further sharing ("Can you tell me more about how that has been affecting you?

"), and summarizing key points. It also means being comfortable with silence, allowing the employee space to gather their thoughts or express emotions. Training should provide leaders with practical exercises to develop these skills, emphasizing that the goal is to listen and support, not to fix the problem or offer solutions unless specifically asked.

Empathetic Communication: A Cornerstone of Leader Support

Empathetic communication is crucial for building trust and rapport, which are essential for effective leader mental health support. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. In leadership, this means being able to put yourself in the employee's shoes, acknowledge their feelings without judgment, and communicate that you understand their perspective, even if you haven't experienced the exact same situation. Phrases like "That sounds incredibly difficult," or "I can see how stressful that must be for you," validate the employee's experience and make them feel heard and less alone.

Empathetic communication also involves regulating your own reactions and emotions during a difficult conversation. Leaders need to remain calm, patient, and compassionate, even if the employee is expressing frustration or distress.

Training should help leaders understand the difference between sympathy (feeling pity for someone) and empathy (understanding and sharing their feelings) and practice responding empathetically. For example, instead of saying "I know how you feel," which can sometimes feel dismissive, an empathetic response might be "While I might not fully understand exactly what you're going through, I can see how much pain this is causing you, and I want you to know I'm here to listen and support you."

Creating a Safe Space for Employees to Share Their Concerns

Creating a safe space is paramount for fostering effective leader mental health support. An employee must feel confident that sharing their concerns will be met with respect, confidentiality (within legal and ethical boundaries), and genuine support, not negative repercussions. This safety is built on trust, which is cultivated over time through consistent, supportive interactions. Leaders must ensure privacy for these conversations, choosing a confidential setting free from interruptions.

Furthermore, establishing psychological safety involves clearly communicating the limits of confidentiality and the types of support available. Leaders should be trained on what information they are obligated to report (e.g., immediate danger to self or others) and how to handle sensitive information discreetly. They should also be knowledgeable about company resources, such as Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), mental health benefits, or internal support groups, so they can guide employees toward appropriate help. By consistently demonstrating discretion, respect, and a willingness to help, leaders build the trust necessary for employees to feel safe opening up about their mental health challenges.

Training Programs for Leaders: Building Mental Health Support Capabilities

Designing Effective Leader Mental Health Training Modules

Designing effective leader mental health training modules requires a thoughtful approach that blends theoretical knowledge with practical skills development. These programs should be tailored to the specific needs and context of the organization, considering factors like industry, company culture, and the diverse backgrounds of employees. A comprehensive program typically includes modules covering basic mental health literacy, recognizing signs of distress, having supportive conversations, understanding confidentiality and boundaries, knowing when and how to refer to professional resources, and promoting self-care for both the employee and the leader.

Training should utilize a variety of methods to engage different learning styles, including interactive workshops, case studies, group discussions, and role-playing scenarios. It's crucial that the training is delivered by qualified professionals, such as mental health practitioners or experienced trainers with expertise in workplace mental health. For instance, a module on 'Recognizing Signs' might include short video clips or anonymized case studies illustrating different manifestations of stress or anxiety at work, followed by group discussion on how a leader might approach such situations empathetically. A successful program isn't a one-off event but part of an ongoing learning process.

Key Components of a Successful Training Program: Mental Health Awareness, Active Listening, Crisis Intervention, and Self-Care

A robust leader mental health training program should include several key components to ensure leaders are well-equipped for effective leader mental health support.

• Mental Health Awareness: Provides foundational knowledge about common mental health conditions, their prevalence, and the factors that contribute to them, helping leaders understand the scope of the issue.
• Active Listening: Focuses on developing the practical skills needed to listen attentively and empathetically during sensitive conversations, as discussed earlier.
• Crisis Intervention Basics: Equips leaders with the knowledge of how to respond in a mental health crisis, such as suicidal ideation or panic attacks, including knowing emergency protocols and contact information for immediate professional help. Note: This is not clinical training but focuses on initial response and referral.
• Resource Navigation: Trains leaders on the specific internal and external mental health resources available to employees and how to appropriately guide employees towards them.
• Self-Care for Leaders: Recognizes that supporting others can be emotionally taxing and provides strategies for leaders to manage their own stress and well-being.

Programs that incorporate these elements holistically are more likely to build leaders' confidence and competence in providing effective support. For example, a program might dedicate a full day or multiple shorter sessions to cover these topics, perhaps starting with awareness, moving to listening and communication skills, then covering crisis response and resources, and concluding with a session on leader self-care.

Role-Playing Scenarios: Practicing Supportive Conversations

Role-playing is an invaluable tool in leader mental health training, allowing participants to practice having supportive conversations in a safe and controlled environment. These scenarios can simulate common workplace situations where an employee might disclose a struggle or where a leader notices signs of distress. Participants can take turns playing the role of the leader and the employee, receiving constructive feedback from trainers and peers. This hands-on practice helps leaders translate theoretical knowledge into practical skills, building confidence and reducing anxiety about potential real-life interactions.

Effective role-playing scenarios are realistic and cover a range of potential situations, from an employee expressing general stress to disclosing a diagnosed condition or indicating suicidal thoughts (with careful handling and professional guidance). For instance, a scenario might involve a leader approaching an employee who has been consistently late and withdrawn, practicing how to open the conversation empathetically.

Another might involve an employee tearfully confiding about a personal crisis impacting their work, allowing the leader to practice active listening and appropriate referral techniques. Facilitated feedback after each role-play is crucial, focusing on what went well and areas for improvement, reinforcing best practices for effective leader mental health support.

Implementing a Culture of Mental Well-being: Leadership's Role

Promoting Open Communication and Reducing Stigma

Implementing a culture of mental well-being requires more than just training; it demands a fundamental shift in organizational culture, driven by leadership. Leaders at all levels must actively promote open communication about mental health, signaling that it is a legitimate aspect of overall health and well-being. This involves incorporating discussions about mental health into team meetings (where appropriate), company-wide communications, and performance reviews (focusing on well-being as a factor impacting performance, not a weakness).

Reducing stigma is an ongoing effort that leaders must champion. They can do this by sharing credible information about mental health, challenging misconceptions, and ensuring that mental health is treated equitably with physical health in policies and practices. For example, a CEO sharing their perspective on managing stress or encouraging employees to use mental health resources can significantly reduce stigma throughout the organization. When leaders normalize conversations about mental health, employees feel more comfortable seeking the effective leader mental health support they need.

Integrating Mental Health Resources into Company Policies

For effective leader mental health support to be sustainable, access to mental health resources must be seamlessly integrated into company policies and readily available to all employees. This includes ensuring robust Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) with easily accessible counseling services, comprehensive health insurance that covers mental health treatment adequately, and flexible work arrangements that can support employees managing mental health conditions (e.g., flexible hours, remote work options).

Leaders must be fully aware of these resources and policies so they can confidently guide employees towards them. Information about how to access EAP services, mental health benefits, and workplace accommodations should be clearly communicated during onboarding and regularly reinforced through internal communication channels. Policies should explicitly state the company's commitment to supporting employee mental health and outline procedures for seeking help and requesting accommodations, reducing ambiguity and demonstrating a clear path to support.

Leading by Example: Leaders Prioritizing Their Own Mental Health

Perhaps the most powerful way for leaders to foster a culture of mental well-being and provide effective leader mental health support is by prioritizing their own mental health and well-being. Leaders are not immune to stress, burnout, or mental health challenges. When leaders are open (within their comfort level and professional boundaries) about the importance of managing stress, taking breaks, seeking support when needed, or maintaining a healthy work-life balance, it sends a powerful message to their teams.

Leading by example helps to destigmatize mental health struggles and shows employees that it is acceptable and encouraged to prioritize one's well-being. This could involve a leader openly stating they are taking a "mental health day," talking about the benefits of mindfulness or exercise for stress management, or simply modeling healthy boundaries around work hours. When employees see their leaders actively caring for their own mental health, they are more likely to feel empowered to do the same and to trust that seeking support from their leader will be met with understanding.

Measuring the Impact of Leader Mental Health Support Initiatives

Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) for Employee Well-being

Measuring the impact of initiatives aimed at enhancing effective leader mental health support is crucial for demonstrating their value and identifying areas for improvement. While measuring mental well-being directly can be complex, organizations can use key performance indicators (KPIs) that serve as proxies for employee well-being and the effectiveness of support programs. Relevant KPIs might include employee engagement scores (often measured through surveys), rates of absenteeism and presenteeism, employee turnover rates, and data from EAP utilization (while respecting anonymity).

Other potential KPIs could involve tracking the number of employees who report feeling supported by their manager in internal surveys, the number of employees utilizing mental health benefits, or even productivity metrics at the team or departmental level, looking for correlations after training programs are implemented. For instance, if absenteeism related to stress decreases by a notable percentage (e.g., 15-20%) in teams led by trained managers compared to others, it provides strong evidence of the program's impact. Collecting baseline data before implementing training is essential for demonstrating change over time.

Gathering Feedback and Making Continuous Improvements

Collecting feedback is vital for understanding the lived experience of employees and leaders and making continuous improvements to mental health support initiatives. Anonymous employee surveys can provide valuable insights into whether employees feel comfortable discussing mental health with their leaders, their awareness of available resources, and their overall perception of the company's commitment to well-being. Leaders who have undergone training should also provide feedback on the program's effectiveness, the challenges they face in applying their skills, and what additional support they might need.

Qualitative feedback through focus groups or one-on-one conversations (again, respecting privacy and anonymity) can offer deeper insights into the nuances of workplace dynamics and the impact of leader support. This feedback loop allows organizations to identify what's working well and what needs adjustment. For example, if feedback indicates that leaders feel unprepared to handle specific types of conversations, the training program can be updated to include more in-depth modules or practice scenarios addressing those areas. Continuous evaluation ensures that effective leader mental health support remains relevant and impactful.

Case Study: Acme Corp's Successful Implementation of a Leader Mental Health Training Program

(Note: This is a hypothetical case study illustrating typical results based on common outcomes reported by organizations implementing such programs.)

Acme Corp, a technology firm with approximately 500 employees, recognized increasing levels of stress and burnout reported in their annual employee engagement survey. Absenteeism related to stress had also seen a gradual rise over two years, reaching an estimated 7% of total lost workdays. In response, Acme Corp launched a comprehensive initiative focused on enhancing effective leader mental health support. They rolled out mandatory training for all 70 managers, covering mental health awareness, active listening, resource navigation, and crisis referral basics. The training included significant time dedicated to role-playing supportive conversations.

Eighteen months after the initial training, Acme Corp conducted a follow-up assessment. Their employee engagement survey showed a 10-point increase in the percentage of employees who reported feeling their manager cared about their well-being. Stress-related absenteeism across the company decreased by approximately 20%.

EAP utilization saw a modest increase, suggesting more employees were seeking help. Feedback from leaders indicated increased confidence in having sensitive conversations and a greater understanding of their role in supporting employee mental health. While challenges remained, particularly in normalizing conversations across all teams, the data clearly demonstrated that investing in training for effective leader mental health support yielded positive results in employee well-being and key business metrics.

Resources for Leaders Seeking to Enhance Mental Health Support Skills

Online Courses and Workshops on Mental Health Awareness

For leaders looking to enhance their capabilities in providing effective leader mental health support, a wealth of online courses and workshops are available. These resources offer flexible learning options, allowing leaders to build their knowledge and skills at their own pace. Many reputable mental health organizations and educational institutions offer programs specifically designed for workplace leaders, covering topics from foundational mental health literacy to advanced communication techniques for sensitive conversations.

Examples of topics often covered include understanding common mental health conditions like depression and anxiety, recognizing signs of distress, developing active listening and empathetic communication skills, and learning how to navigate conversations about stress, burnout, or personal challenges impacting work. Some courses also provide guidance on promoting a mentally healthy work environment and understanding the legal and ethical considerations involved. While specific course providers vary, searching for "workplace mental health training for managers" or "leader mental health support courses" can yield numerous options tailored to different needs and budgets.

Mental Health Professionals and Consultants for Workplace Training

Organizations serious about implementing effective leader mental health support should consider engaging mental health professionals or specialized workplace mental health consultants. These experts can provide tailored training programs that address the specific context and challenges within the company. They bring clinical knowledge and practical experience in delivering sensitive training, ensuring that leaders receive accurate information and effective skill-building exercises.

Consultants can also help organizations design a broader mental well-being strategy, assess current needs, develop policies, and provide ongoing support to leaders as they navigate complex situations. Engaging a professional ensures that the training content is evidence-based, delivered appropriately, and aligned with best practices. For instance, a consultant might facilitate interactive workshops, provide one-on-one coaching for senior leaders, or help develop internal resources and communication materials to support the training initiatives.

Recommended Books and Articles on Workplace Mental Health

Leaders committed to fostering effective leader mental health support can deepen their understanding by reading relevant books and articles on workplace mental health. A growing body of literature explores the impact of work on mental well-being, the role of leadership, strategies for creating supportive environments, and practical guidance for conversations. Reading provides a flexible way to learn about different perspectives and approaches.

Topics covered in recommended readings often include the psychology of burnout, building resilience in teams, the link between leadership style and employee stress, practical guides for empathetic communication, and broader discussions on organizational culture and mental health. While specific titles are numerous and constantly evolving, searching for terms like "workplace mental health," "supportive leadership," "managing stress at work," or "psychological safety in the workplace" will lead to valuable resources. These readings can supplement formal training and provide ongoing learning opportunities for leaders.

Overcoming Barriers to Effective Leader Mental Health Support

Addressing Common Concerns and Misconceptions about Mental Health in the Workplace

Several common concerns and misconceptions can act as barriers to implementing effective leader mental health support. Leaders might worry about saying the wrong thing, crossing boundaries, or being expected to act as therapists. Employees might fear judgment or negative repercussions from disclosing a mental health challenge. Misconceptions about mental illness, such as viewing it as a sign of weakness or something that people can just "snap out of," are also prevalent.

Training programs must directly address these concerns and misconceptions. Leaders need clear guidance on their role (supportive listener and resource connector, not therapist), boundaries (what information to share, confidentiality limits), and how to approach conversations with confidence and compassion. Education is key to dispelling myths about mental illness and fostering empathy. Creating open forums where leaders can ask questions and share experiences in a safe environment can also help normalize discussions and build confidence in their ability to provide support.

Strategies for Managing Difficult Conversations and Situations

Despite training, leaders may encounter difficult conversations or challenging situations related to employee mental health. This could involve an employee becoming emotional, resistant to help, or disclosing information that raises concerns about their safety or the safety of others. Being prepared for these scenarios is a critical aspect of effective leader mental health support.

Strategies for managing difficult conversations include remaining calm and grounded, validating the employee's feelings without necessarily agreeing with any potentially harmful statements, focusing on the immediate situation and safety if concerns arise, and knowing exactly when and how to escalate or involve HR or mental health professionals. Training should include specific modules or practice scenarios for these challenging situations, providing leaders with step-by-step guidance on how to respond appropriately and responsibly, ensuring both the employee's well-being and workplace safety.

Addressing Resistance to Mental Health Initiatives

Sometimes, organizations face resistance to implementing mental health initiatives, either from leadership who may not see it as a priority or from employees who are skeptical or mistrustful. This resistance can stem from a lack of understanding of the benefits, concerns about cost, or a culture that has historically ignored or stigmatized mental health issues. Overcoming this resistance is crucial for building a truly supportive workplace.

Addressing resistance requires clear communication about the strategic importance of mental well-being, backed by data on the costs of poor mental health (e.g., absenteeism, turnover) and the benefits of support (e.g., increased productivity, improved morale). Senior leadership must visibly champion the initiatives. Providing accessible, non-threatening entry points, such as general stress management workshops or awareness campaigns, can also help build buy-in. Demonstrating the concrete skills leaders will gain and how these skills benefit team performance can also help convince skeptical managers that training for effective leader mental health support is a valuable investment of their time.

The Future of Leader Mental Health Support: Trends and Innovations

Emerging Technologies and Approaches to Mental Well-being in the Workplace

The field of workplace mental well-being is constantly evolving, with emerging technologies and innovative approaches shaping the future of effective leader mental health support. Digital tools, such as mental health apps offering mindfulness exercises, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques, or mood tracking, are becoming more common components of employee benefits packages. AI-powered platforms may offer personalized well-being recommendations or resources.

Furthermore, there's a growing interest in leveraging data analytics (aggregated and anonymized) to identify trends in employee stress levels or EAP utilization, helping organizations proactively address potential issues. Virtual reality (VR) is also being explored for stress reduction or empathy training for leaders. While technology should complement human interaction, not replace it, these tools offer new avenues for supporting employee well-being and providing leaders with additional resources to utilize or recommend.

The Evolving Role of Leaders in Promoting Mental Health

The role of leaders in promoting mental health is evolving from simply managing performance to actively fostering employee well-being. Future effective leader mental health support will likely involve leaders being even more integrated into the mental health support ecosystem, acting as connectors and advocates. This might include leaders being trained in more advanced coaching skills related to well-being or being key participants in designing and evaluating mental health programs.

As workplaces become more diverse and the nature of work continues to change (e.g., hybrid and remote work models), leaders will need to adapt their support strategies to meet these new challenges. The emphasis will increasingly be on building psychologically safe teams, promoting work-life integration rather than just balance, and recognizing the impact of broader societal stressors on employee mental health. The future leader will be expected not only to manage tasks but also to lead with empathy, prioritizing the human element of their teams for sustainable success.

Final Reflection: The Unspoken Power of Listening in Leadership

The ability to truly listen is no longer a soft skill; it's the bedrock of effective leadership, particularly when it comes to supporting mental health. In a world grappling with unprecedented levels of stress and anxiety, leaders who can foster environments of genuine understanding and empathy are not just beneficial, they are essential for organizational success and individual well-being. The impact of neglecting this crucial aspect of leadership is far-reaching and costly, affecting productivity, morale, and ultimately, the bottom line.

The journey towards cultivating a culture of mental health support within organizations is a continuous process, one that requires consistent self-reflection and a willingness to learn. It's not merely about implementing policies; it's about fostering a deep understanding of the human experience and recognizing the inherent vulnerability within every individual. This journey has profoundly impacted my own understanding of leadership, reminding me that true strength lies not in control, but in connection. The greatest gift you can give someone is your undivided attention. – Jim Rohn. This quote encapsulates the essence of effective listening and its transformative power in leadership.

Now, consider your own leadership style. Are you truly hearing your team members, or are you simply waiting for your turn to speak? Take a moment to reflect on your communication patterns and actively seek opportunities to improve your listening skills. Practice empathy, ask clarifying questions, and create safe spaces for open and honest dialogue. By embracing the art of listening, you are not only supporting the mental health of those around you, but also cultivating a more resilient, productive, and ultimately, more human-centered workplace. The future of leadership depends on it.

Unlock Your Leadership Potential: Cultivate Deeper Connections Through Listening

Thanks for investing your time in understanding the power of active listening in leadership and mental health support. We hope you gained valuable insights into fostering stronger, more empathetic teams. Ready to put your newfound knowledge into action?

• Prioritize one conversation this week: Focus on truly listening, without interruption, to a colleague or team member. Practice reflecting back what you hear to ensure understanding. This is the single most impactful step you can take.
• Share this article with your team: Help them develop the same powerful listening skills, creating a more supportive and understanding workplace.
• Explore Mind Care Guide's resources: Discover additional articles and tools on effective communication and mental wellbeing. This can be found on our website.

Ready to build a truly supportive and connected team, one conversation at a time? What's the first step you’ll take to improve your active listening skills?